craveytrain

Well, I was invited to my cousin’s daughter’s 4 year old b-day party. I gladly accepted and made sure to buy the little tike a gift that would drive her parents crazy. Why? Cause that’s what family does. I was sorta dreading the party. I don’t exactly “fit in” with the crowd she hangs out with. Now, that’s not to say I don’t enjoy the company of many of her friends, but well, I stick out like a sore thumb. My attire is akin to something out of an Old Ralph Donna Gap Laren Abercrombie Navy Karen & Fitch commercial. So I visually contrast with the hemp jeans and t-shirts older than those wearing them. I can’t help it, I feel guilty for my faux likeness to “The Man” when I’m around them. Plus the gf was with me and she makes me look like a Birkenstock toting, “legalize it” evangelizing hippie. Yeah, we were gonna go over like a fart in church.

There were plenty of normal hygene’d hippies there. People who understood the basics of American culture and what is “socially acceptable”. But there were several whos’ odors just reached up and slapped you accross the face. I mean, just pungent ass. After several offensive passings (after which of each I felt violated and my lifespan shortened) I had to ask my cousin.

“What’s up with so-and-so and the B.O.?”

“That’s how she rolls. [blah blah blah]… natural pheromones.” Sorry, my hippie BS filter kicked in.

The idea of this initially amazed me. Using one’s odors to attract others. Actually, that wasn’t so odd. Toilet water (perfume/cologne) is used all the time to attract attention. The difference being those are “usually” regarded as pleasant or at least non-offensive odors. Granted, there are exceptions. I know people who like to bathe in their toilet water. At least that’s what it smells like. But the idea of one’s natural odors that are traditionally regarded as “stinky” used to attract others? I just don’t get it. How someone could think the emanation that just burned through my nose hairs could turn someone on is beyond me.

The ironic thing about it, these people didn’t appear to be terribly dirty (except the dreads). But I know plenty of people who have dreads and don’t elicit my gag reflex. They didn’t have visable dirt on their skin, their clothes weren’t sweat-stained. Hell, even their nails were pretty clean. It’s like they have researched funk and found a way to harvest their musk to its highest potency.

So I’m theorizing that pheromones only work on those that want them to work. Maybe I didn’t give it long enough to sink in. Maybe if my face hadn’t gone numb I would have felt an undeniable attraction to her. Guess I’ll never know, cause my sniffer swore to me if I do that again, he’s packing up his shit, taking my lips and kissing my ass good-bye.

Well, the frequency has dropped off from regular posts. Now it’s just me and my occassional post. Even that is coming to a halt pretty much. It seems with every post I make, I seem to get in trouble in one way or another so I am going to probably taper off my posts even beyond what they are now. For that one person out there that was reading this, sorry…

what upsets a girl?
Anything in the world?
What sets you off?
What makes you scoff?
What did I say? What did I do?
Next time I promise, I won’t be the fool.
As soon as I get it through to my head,
exactly what it is that I did.

So I found out one of my favorite people is leaving the place I work. I have mixed feelings on this, as I usually do. While i know they are moving on to greener pastures where they will be happier, I can’t help but be sad for selfish reasons. But what really sparks my thoughts is why this person is leaving.

If you are working in the tech field, the age we live in is not the best we’ve seen. Take a few years ago, the .com boom. Most of us didn’t get rich, but we had a lot of fun. We worked our asses off, but it was fun. Then the fun shops got closed down and now most of us that are still in the industry have sold our souls to corporate america, myself included. We have done what we had to do to make ends meet and not leave the industry.

The problem is, all those great business practices of the .coms is long gone. Now, I’m not talking necessarily about the opulent spending, but the appreciation of one’s employees. Recognition. A fucking pat on the back. The common practice of a lot of these large corporations is if you are not upper management, you do not get noticed. This is disheartening and sucks the motivation right out of you. Why work hard when it’s not going to get you noticed, when it’s not going to get you appreciated? Cause we are people of ethics. Cause we have a job to do. Cause we don’t want to lose our job.

“But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.”

Peter Gibbons
Office Space

Well, time is finally coming back around. Those of us willing to take the leap are finding greener pastures once again. Congrats to those that do. Don’t feel downtrodden by loyalty to the man, cause he ain’t gonna show you none.

The ironic thing, this is venting for others, cause I have been shown respect, promoted and given a raise. I watch others who definitely earn it passed by yet I am recognized. I am not complaining, cause I feel I earned mine as well, but it’s a shame to see those putting forth effort not reaping rewards.

More power to those of you that go find what makes you happy.

When did it become unpopular to be white?
Since when did I not have any plight?
Just cause the color of my skin is light,
Some assume I have all the might.

We don’t know what each other has been through.
We must step back and stop pretending we do.
Some hold that bigotry with persistence.
But I have to ask, what is the difference
Between me and my brother
And me and my other brother.