Elevator Etiquette
I ride 2 elevators at least twice a day (not including lunch). 1 from the garage to the ground level and 1 from the ground level up to my office. Riding elevators is pretty old bag for me. I know when to push my own buttons or to ask the person in front of the panel to hit them for me so as to not invade their personal space. I know where to stand in the elevator no matter how many people and of whatever gender are in it. Strangly enough, it’s very similar to the urinal rules but add women to the mix.
But the one thing I don’t get is what to look at when you are in the elevator. This seems like a silly question at first. Why does it matter what you look at? Have you have ever been in an elevator, watched the person getting in the elevator, watched their eyes to make eye contact and nod, smile or make other gestures of greeting and after a while realize you are staring at a stranger in the elevator. Even if they look now, how weird is that? You have been staring at them since they got in the elevator. No, that’s not creepy “Mr. unshaven t-shirt and jeans” in an elevator of suits. Even worse is when you make eye contact with the person getting in, expecting a greeting smile (maybe even a nod or a hello if they are especially friendly), but instead get a dead pan look and frequent fertive suspicious glances for the rest of your time in that box. It can make those few seconds seem an eternity. I actually start sweating when this happens.
Again, urinal regime would dictate you look straight ahead, and most of the time it’s that simple. You just look straight ahead at the door awaiting it’s opening. Sure, it feels a little awkward and very unfriendly, but you don’t get the “get the hell away from me creepy unshaven guy” look. So it would appear this is the lesser of 2 evils. However, the 2nd elevator I take up to the office has a full front wall of very polished mirrored steel. So when you look straight ahead, you see a reflection of everything behind you. Today that would be a woman who very obviously thought I was staring at her in the reflection. I focused to her in the reflection after a gruff sigh from behind me and I see a scowl unbecoming of a scoundal, much less a young lady. What do I do now? Do I confess I wasn’t looking at her? Too late, she’ll never believe it. Nevermind, just wait it out. As the doors opened, I shook my head and walked out of the box of awkward hell. I am really stumped as to what I could have done better.
October 5th, 2005 at 11:59 pm
What you do my friend is flatulate loudly…. the eight octave type if possible. Then you giggle your way to the cubicle.
What I hate are the people that you see everyday use the elevator yet still fail to grasp the basic principles. When to press up or down, incessent pressing doesn’t equate to faster service, getting off at the wrong floor… we’ve all done it before, but some people seem to make it their daily routine.
October 6th, 2005 at 4:09 am
I love Profits response…but I for one could not do that. Of course living in the butt hole of Texas…I do not have to deal with this problem. Hell, I am thinking of riding my bike to work except I am afraid of having a heart attack trying to go over the bridge. You could always get some extra exercise and take the stairs. Then you could fart , not have to look at anyone and get your exercise in too. Or you could say,”Yes. I work here too, I can dress like shit and still make twice the money you do”. Just a thought….hehehehe.
October 11th, 2005 at 2:28 pm
Elevator rules dictate that you must face the doors, and stare at the floor counter, clock, LED Display or whatever. Presumably this allows you to know where you are, but in reality it is to disguise the fact that you are staring at the complete stranger in the confined space next to you. Talking is strictly forbidden, and you must stand as far away from all fellow passengers as possible.
My favorite thing to do is to stand facing into the elevator, and make random comments to the fellow passengers. You can also try ignoring the spacing algorithm, and stand too close to someone. FYI - Do not do this with Hung Lee - it drives him NUTS! At this point, it’s kind of a game to see if, in 13 floors or less, I can get a complete stranger to chat with me, or run out of the elevator like a scared squirrel.
As an added bonus, we have an elevator from the garage to the lobby, and then the lobby to the office. Oftentimes, you come up from the garage, and then go into the lobby elevators together. This gives you added bonus time to jack with your fellow passengers.
So the next time you see an annoying guy in the elevator, just say “Hi!”, cause it’s probably me!
October 11th, 2005 at 3:27 pm
Having worked on the 13th floor for nearly 3 years, I’ve gotten plenty of questions and comments on the elevator. Typically it’s “I didn’t know they put a 13th floor in buildings”. Of course buildings at least 13 stories tall have a 13th floor… you don’t see floors 14+ suspended in mid-air over the 12th floor… the architects just label it 14 and go from there. Numb sh*ts. The one question I always enjoy is “Who works on the 13th floor?”, to which I always reply, just before the doors snap shut behind me, “The damned…”
October 14th, 2005 at 2:34 pm
Why worry about what they think… do your thing and move on is what i say..
I like Antognius’s response… be in an elevator with just one other person..stand real close to them the whole time…but be sure to not say anything to them…lol
fuk em if they cant take a joke…