Social Contributions
Well, I have always thought of my job as being mutually beneficial for myself and society. The position I am in now is reasonably well paid. I feel that my work is a valid contribution to society (though not without adgenda). But it’s a means to an end right? I work on goverment portals and applications. The high road would say I am a champion of the people, fighting for their rights to less overhead more simplified communication with their goverment; to provide services available to the public that are at low cost to the government (and hopefully curtailing some of the goverment mismanagement of funds). The low road would say I am a code monkey who spits out code I’m told to put out and gets paid to do it. Truth be known, I’m somewhere in between. However, on the days where I’m feeling low about my job, it’s the feeling that I am doing good for the people that makes me feel better. That feeds into the idea I have of a good person who contributes back to society and helps re-enforce my feelings of being an aspiring good person. But every now and then, I’m shown something that makes my “contributions” pale in comparison.
My cousin is a great guy, as any of his friends/family will tell you. A lot of times, I find myself in a position where I don’t know how to react and I can count on him to be my grounding. He may not know this, but in a lot of ways, he’s my role model. He’s also a CSI for the county back home.
As a CSI, he’s seen some grizzly stuff. Occassionally he tells a story or shows a picture (providing that it’s something he can talk about). So I’ve seen some pics of suicide. I’ve heard stories of manslaughter and cold blooded murder. Then he sent me the pictures today. He asked me if I wanted to see some pictures. I should have known better. He said to make sure I wasn’t eating. Another chance to say no is passed by. I get the email, I open them and my jaw bounces off the floor as I witness the most grizzly thing(s) I have ever seen. I had to ask the story, and this is the conversation I had:
me: ok… WTF is that?
him: two dead ppl
me: well, no shit
me: story?
him: one in a bed and the other is on the floor
me: god damn that is some nasty shit… what is the story behind those?
him: dont know..we are still working on it…cant do autopsy…too much decomposition
him: you should have been in the house….I had a carbon mask on
him: STUNK
him: well gotta run to texas childrens hosp…got an 8 yr old sexual assault victim..lates
There are lots of things about that message that one can focus on. But the thing that it hit me with was 1) what he was going to have to deal with and 2) that he had delt with it so much that it didn’t phase him. I realize that is his job. He is supposed to be professional about it. It is in his best interest to remain emotionally detached from those types of things, but it really puts perspective on what I do.
I make web pages for the goverment. He gathers evidence to arrest people for crimes such as murder and sexual assault of a minor. Really makes you ask “what do I do for society?”
August 3rd, 2004 at 4:28 pm
Thanks - I feel like crap now.
August 3rd, 2004 at 4:37 pm
I know nurses have to go through similar situations. Not as grisly sometimes, but just as disturbing. My sister has told me some things she has seen in the Pediatrics Unit. Makes me want to go kill some parents and achingly sad at the same time.
I think a big difference is that these folks look at situations from a helping perspective rather than an empathetic perspective. For example, if I were to see a baby born addicted to cocaine, I would cry and feel sorry for him knowing what his life is going to be like and imagining what he must be going through. But my sister can look at the same baby and see what he needs and how she can help him feel better.
Hearing stories like the one you just told makes me wish I was able to do that too…
I think the real stinker is the inverse ratio of pay to their contribution to society.
August 3rd, 2004 at 4:45 pm
Many people struggle with idea’s of their meaning or purpose in life. God knows I struggle with this idea very often. I work for a fashion house. We make women’s clothing; Not exactly a noble vocation. W/o going into a long, rambling, philosophical discussion I will try to layout how I feel about this subject If everyone made a conscious effort to be a better person the human condition would improve dramatically. Do your part and we are one person closer to that ideal.
August 3rd, 2004 at 4:51 pm
Yeah, I considered making the statement (which is true) that for all I do and for all my cuz does for society, I make more than twice him. He’s got a wife, house and a kid. Yet I’m the one that’s always broke. But that’s another subject all together.
August 4th, 2004 at 10:32 pm
Well Im touched..I feel all warm and fuzzy inside now…Im jus doing my job..If you let a scene, no matter how bad get to you…it could interfere with you doing your job and that might be the only time that you will be able to get the crucial evidence to help that poor victim lying dead on the floor…so you have to take control of the situation so that you catch that bastard that has hurt this person as not to give them a chance to hurt again…I can truly say that I have seen alot of stuff in my career and everyday is a new experience…If you let a scene get stuck in your head..you will have nightmares as the pics flash through your head in your sleep…Im merely one person and I cannot change the world..but I do what I can to help the people that cannot or are afraid to speak out to help themselves…and Mike..your contributions to society are worth their weight in gold….you do more than you think..I may not make the money that I am worth or would like to get…but I get by…I can say that I have worked through all that life has given me, good or bad, and I and dealt with it…I will not surrender no matter how difficult it gets…Im a fighter…as well as you all are..whether you beleive you are or not..you are…keep your head high..and remember you are beautiful..hahahahahaha…nice bullshit ramble, HUH….