Anniversaries
So I have a random question - how do people in this blog mark anniversaries in relationships? Read on for my thoughts and questions….
Quick background: I have a relationship anniversary coming up. We are celebrating 3 years of dating w/ the 3 years being marked from our first date. Obviously people celebrate different milestones, but I was just curious among this group, how anniversaries are measured?
I am one of those people who only celebrates ONE anniversary. Personally, I am of the opinion that relationships start from the first date and it either gets stronger or disintegrates and you don’t go on another date, but that is officially the start of the relationship process so that’s the anniversary date. Obviously opinions differ greatly.
But I had a friend who celebrated the anniversary of her first date and then the anniversary of when they officially became a couple. I had yet another friend who celebrated those 2 plus the anniversary of the first time they were intimate. Personally, I think that is overkill. I mean geez… I can’t even remember one date much less 3. Forget about the S.O. remembering more than 1…
Which also brings me to the frequency of these anniversaries. I had friends who when they first started dating, they did 1 month, 3 month, 6 month, one year. I think we did 1 month and then 1 year… we might have mentioned something on the other days but we didn’t actually celebrate w/ gifts or doing anything.
Another issue: milestones will vary depending on whether it’s a relationship or a marriage. So if I were to get married, which one becomes my official “anniversary” - the original/anniversary of the relationship or the anniversary of the ceremony?
Just some ramblings cause it’s MUCH more interesting than the codes I am looking at right now….
January 9th, 2004 at 5:29 pm
well, while we did mention to the other “it’s been 6 months” etc… we only celebrated the 1 year. we celebrated 1 year from the first date. that’s just the way I have always done it, so it made sense.
using the day it is an official couple is an interesting concept though. I don’t remember what day that was, but in my mind there is an acceptable period of “dating” where you don’t have to be exclusive.
this period is broken by:
1) having “the talk” about being exclusive
2) 3 to 6 weeks of going out
my logic there is by 3 to 6 weeks you should know if it an exclusive relationship or not. hell, most know half way through the first date.
Btw, since it’s coming up and is on a related subject, I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s such a bullshit holiday. I dread this day from the beginning of the year till it passes. If I find the woman (you know it had to be a woman) who made this holiday up, I’m gonna beat her ass.
January 9th, 2004 at 5:42 pm
http://txtx.essortment.com/stvalentinesda_rfmd.htm
Explains Origin [by a MAN] and meaning of popular symbols too…
January 9th, 2004 at 5:46 pm
Shame on you!!!!!What does it hurt to send some flowers on Valentines Day? It is just a small token of your love for someone..and by the way, it does not have to always be your girlfriend.Sometimes it is nice for it to be the other way around. I haven’t gotten that far in 30 years but may surprise him one day..yeah right. hehehe..Anyway,even as macho as your dad is, he does give me something on Valentines..even if he gets to eat it..as you know on Atkins you can’t have candy and he knows that too. laters and don’t whine so much about little stuff son. love ya..mom..could be worse you know..
January 9th, 2004 at 5:52 pm
it’s bullshit cause it’s 1 sided. men are expected to get women flowers and be romantic and shit like that. but are women expected to do anything? hell no. they are expected to enjoy everything their man is doing for them. I’m boycotting Valentine’s Day this year.
Just gotta find a way to tell the gf…
January 9th, 2004 at 6:01 pm
I am proud to say that we have exchanged gifts EVERY year for the last 3 years… I too don’t think it’s fair for it to be a one sided holiday. Love is two sided and if ppl are making the argument it is a celebration of love then celebrate both ways…
It’s love in general btw. Every year I send my sisters, niece, mom, S.O., and a few select friends V-day gifts…It’s about showing you appreciate a relationship w/ someone whether that be familial, friendship, or romantic.
The actual idea of taking the time to appreciate your relationships one day a year is great. It’s the folks trying to compensate for a ywar’s worth of emotional neglect that make Hallmark’s fiscal year on this day.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:05 pm
Well, I forgot to comment on the other thing, anniversaries. I think that it is up to the couple. We would have at least 4 different ones if we went by when we started dating, then when we got married, then when we got divorced and last but no least, when we got remarried. I know that we are not the typical couple but we decided to use the last one. Mainly, because we could not remember the other dates other than the first time we got married. In my opinion, the dating relationship and the married relationship are two totally different things. If the relationship goes on to marriage then the other is over and you start a new phase of your relationship. Not that the first one does not mean anything but the second phase has new meaning..but really it is up to the couple. Confused..good then I have done my job…hehehe. Don’t you know that we women have to keep the upper hand on this relationship thing..if not then how would we ever get flowers, jewelry or candy out of you guys..love ya mom
January 9th, 2004 at 6:07 pm
I can see it for people who are void of romance and signs of affections, but all it ever is for me is a pain in the ass and wallet. What ends up happening is that attention, love, affections and gifts you have been giving all year for no reason now have to be trumped, as does your effort for last year’s. you are forced to give bigger gifts, do something more extravagent, etc. Those efforts in themselves are fine, but I don’t like the idea of having a single day where you must show your affection or you are an ass.
By my feeling, if you haven’t shown your love by the time that day rolls around, you are shit outta luck anyways…
January 9th, 2004 at 6:08 pm
i am that girlfriend as referenced above…and i take offense that you think valentines’ day is one sided.. What the hell?…do you have any idea what women(some) go through on that day. talk about stress, it’s right up there with figuring out what to do for the guy on his birthday or anniversary. For me, i love romance, but i hardly get it. I have all these romantic ideas in my head but whenever it comes down to it, or if i mention anything along the romantic sense they are shot down… Maybe the reason women don’t do really romantic things for their s.o. is because the guys shoot it all down.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:09 pm
tell me about confusing, I am 25 and still asking 1) when is your anniversary and 2) how long have y’all been married?
January 9th, 2004 at 6:10 pm
I agree with utexhorn97. You go boy…it is not one sided unless you want it to be. Hell, tell her to get you something too..I know, I know..it is not the same if you have to tell her but you never know unless you either ask or are told something..you whiner you.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:14 pm
I call bullshit! you don’t get romance all year? I don’t ever suprise you by showing up after a 4 hour drive? I don’t cook for you? I don’t give you pieces of art for which you are the muse? I don’t give you signs of affection? No, they aren’t flowers and they aren’t chocolate. But when have I ever subscribed to the conventional methods of doing anything? So don’t even try to tell me you don’t get romance.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:20 pm
Well, I can tell you nothing along the lines of when we actually got back together cause we lived in sin for a long time before we actually got remarried. The date is Nov.4th and we just had our 29th anniversary even though we have been together for 100000000000000000 years. The whole idea is to appreciate what you have with each other in what ever way that you would like to. Sounds like your gf would like some romantic time with you which costs nothing..hello..you keep it up gf.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:24 pm
romance costs nothing? what world are you living in? cause here on earth everything costs…
January 9th, 2004 at 6:27 pm
thank you mcmom…i am making a retraction in my statement….yes, i do get romance…but by the same token…i think mcmom knows excatly what i’m talking about…good thing we have that “women decoder power” i was beginning to think that no one else understood:) thanks!
January 9th, 2004 at 6:28 pm
wrong, time costs nothing…a walk in the park costs nothing…you’re an intelligent man, you know that there are romantic things that don’t cost a thing…remeber…we’ve had some…:)
January 9th, 2004 at 6:34 pm
“women decoder power”? is that a way of saying “I don’t know how to say what I am thinking” or is it more like “there is no logic to my statement, which is why logical people have no idea what I am saying”.
and yes, it costs time. time is a valuable commodity. it’s not to say I mind spending it, but you can’t pretend there is not a cost to it.
besides, if you want to get technical, driving to the park takes gas. gas costs money.
January 9th, 2004 at 6:40 pm
Boy, don’t you get ugly with me or I will drive up there and whip your ass!!!!!!I have lived in this world a long time and for 20 years….I got nothing for anniversary or Valentines day and every year it hurt more untill something clicked between us. Now that is sad and I just do not want to see you make the same mistake. It is not that everyday romance means nothing..it is just that those two days are set aside for something special on both sides of the relationship..it is not just one way as you put it. I am leaving you all now to hash this out cause as you said..I must live in another world..but you had better play nice or else..I know that you are scared of that shit..huh? Even if you are a butt head sometimes..I love ya..mom
January 9th, 2004 at 6:48 pm
why does my ass hurt? what are those welps all around my rear? why is the blind stick missing from the venetian blinds? I think I just got an ass whippin…
January 9th, 2004 at 7:14 pm
hehehe..no one else will understand the blind stick thing but us…yea, cruel and unusual punishment..that is what I am into…I know that I was getting off of this but I had to see what else was said…One more queston..Why are you worring about something that is over a month away? And why do you think that cupid is a naked man that is shooting arrows at women? That was two questions I know..laters